Putting Yourself First

Is it selfish to put your needs ahead of others’? I asked myself this question as I have made a decision that goes against what ‘most sane individuals’ would do because it feels right to me and I believe that it serves my higher purpose.

For as long as I can remember, I operated with the interests of everyone else ahead of my own. Growing up, my primary motivation was to gain the approval of my parents, my father in particular. I made choices that I knew would be well-received. I always chose the most prudent road and that which would garner me a reputation for being solid, dependable and consistent. And I was; true to my Taurean nature! I continued to make predictable and safe choices through my 20s and 30s, putting the needs of my family and employers first. Gradually, I began to see that my choices were not serving me and that changes needed to me made.

Over the past five years, I have been on a journey of self-discovery. While I have created a new life surrounded by positive people and experiences, all too often I found that my pattern of pleasing others had taken precedence. It is a habit that it deep-rooted but I am slowly overcoming it and, this week, I made a very big choice regarding my career that is entirely based on what is best for me! Of course, that’s when I wondered if I was being selfish.

Selfish: “concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others.”

It is my belief that when you make choices that are in alignment with your values and are being true to your authentic self, you cannot be selfish. You see, as you embrace your potential, you empower others to do the same. While the people in your immediate circle may not agree with your choices, and some may even feel hurt by your decisions, it is you that you must face in the mirror each day and it is you that must go to bed each night fully responsible for your life. I fully understand this process as I have experienced it myself. However, I would much rather face the authentic Lisa in the mirror and go to bed each night feeling proud that my choices reflect my personal vision of success than to continue to live my life passively and to the tune of someone else’s drum. Then sense of peace that comes when you are living in possibility and integrity is worth any temporary discomfort. Those who wish that you truly embrace your potential will eventually applaud your courage and support the execution of your personal vision of success. When times with others have been difficult and I question my choices, I remember the poem by Mother Teresa which ends: “In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Last night, I watched “Invictus”, a true story about Nelson Mandela, an inspiring man whose love for his country and fellow South Africans led him to make many choices that appears selfish to others. He read the poem of the same name by William Ernest Henley which inspired him to “stand while he felt like lying down” during his 30 years of incarceration. The famous words that began and ended the movie brought a surge of pride and peace through my body. He said, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

Knowing this truth, feeling this inspiration, I have taken a huge leap of faith. I have chosen “the road less traveled” (thank you Robert Frost – I have always loved this poem) and expect it will make all the difference. We are entering a new year and a new decade after all. It is time for great change. It is time for greatness. This year I will turn 40. Isn’t it about time I started putting myself first? Lesson Learned.

For more on my philosophy, please visit my website: http:///embracingpotential.com.

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I trust that you and Mrs. Claus are in fine health and maintaining a good balance at home, work, play and peace at this demanding time of year. If your elves are embracing their potential, you likely have less to do on the shop floor and can focus on your personal vision of success – spreading joy to people all over the world at Christmastime. I would like to thank you for the work that you do. You are an inspiration!

Speaking of gratitude, I would like to share with you how thankful I am for the blessings In my life. My friends and family are all healthy and happier than ever. I am surrounded by people who love and support me. I am fortunate to be financially independent and attracting abundance in everything I do. This season is one of giving and I would like to start by giving thanks – for all I have and for the ability to share my talent, wisdom and love with all those in my reach at home, at work, at play and at peace.

I have a special handwritten note for you in my journal detailing my vision at home, at work, at play and at peace. I trust that you will be getting plenty of these from my friends this year who are taking time to invest in their own growth and development and who understand that asking for guidance and support is part of the process of executing on your vision of success.

Writing this letter to you has been a great experience. I am now very clear on what I value in my life and have reaffirmed my commitment to creating a life grounded in those personal values. Why don’t you just sit back and relax, Santa? I already have every that I need right here, right now. Lesson Learned.