Do you remember this song from the 80s? I do. But it’s not the kind of love I’m talking about… no, I’m writing a book about THAT kind of love… wait for it! Today, however, is about the love of a mother for her child, that double-edge sword of unconditional love. Why on earth would I call it that? Well, if your son was turning 12 like mine is today, I think you would know that answer.
I had never experienced anything like it before or since that moment, 6:08PM on August 4, 1998 when my son, Joel Anthony was born. There can never be words to describe the rush of love that comes from the heavens and envelops your soul and stays with you forever. That is a blessing for which I am grateful every day of my life. The difficult part of this is that children grow up… they become independent and no longer need you like they did when they were babies. Their independence changes everything. I am beginning to experience this and it is scary and a little sad.
If I get beyond the emotion (after I have my obligatory Joel’s-birthday-meltdown cry) I see that it’s really similar to other changes that I’ve survived – really, it’s about the changing role of parenting. It’s really about Letting Go. My duties and responsibilities are changing and, if I hold too tightly, things will probably get rough; if I try to go with the flow and adjust my responses in a more organic way, things may continue to be a smooth as they have been for the past 12 years.
I have no crystal ball and I really don’t know what I will be called upon to face as Mom to Joel Anthony but I do know one thing: I will forever be conscious of the gift I have been given and cherish every moment I have him in my life and because I love him, I will learn to let go (within reason, of course, because I am still his mother).
Professional Motivator, Lisa Payne, finds inspiration in everyday events to help others embrace their potential.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
What Does It All Mean?
When bad things happen to good people we wonder, “What does it all mean?” We search for answers. We drive ourselves crazy looking for the lessons to be learned. Funny, we don’t normally do the same when GOOD things happen. We just accept that this is the way things should be. We have a sense of entitlement and naturally EXPECT that good things will happen to us. Most times, we don’t even acknowledge the good. We don’t pay tribute to the gifts in our lives.
Why is it that we can trust that all is as it should be when everything is running smoothly but when the arse falls of out ‘er, we panic? (That’s a Newfoundland expression but I’m guessing my intelligent readers will get the proper gist.) Ah… this is where the learning is needed and some would concur that this is why bad things continue to happen… because we are NOT learning the lesson!
We must trust that all things that happen to us and around us are happening for a reason. There is a greater plan that we may not yet understand – perhaps we never will. We must remember to look upon the universe and its great sense of humour with awe and just get out of the way. Sometimes we have to leave well enough alone and not look so hard for the meaning. It will show up when we are ready.
Why is it that we can trust that all is as it should be when everything is running smoothly but when the arse falls of out ‘er, we panic? (That’s a Newfoundland expression but I’m guessing my intelligent readers will get the proper gist.) Ah… this is where the learning is needed and some would concur that this is why bad things continue to happen… because we are NOT learning the lesson!
We must trust that all things that happen to us and around us are happening for a reason. There is a greater plan that we may not yet understand – perhaps we never will. We must remember to look upon the universe and its great sense of humour with awe and just get out of the way. Sometimes we have to leave well enough alone and not look so hard for the meaning. It will show up when we are ready.
Monday, July 12, 2010
A Healthy Start
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Honeselty, I never really understood the science behind that statement, but I have always been a healthy breakfast person and can’t function beyond 10:00am without food. My take on it is that you are setting a solid nutritional foundation for the day – treating your body like a temple by giving it what it needs to perform.
Today starts the beginning of another work week. It is a Magnificent Monday and, following a healthy breakfast, I give myself what I need to embrace my potential. Keeping my Vision of Success in mind, I begin this Mondays planning my week: at home, at work, at play and at peace.
• I plan my meals for the week so I’ll make healthy food choices (most of the time – it is summer, after all) when I’m alone and with the children;
• I schedule lunch and coffee with friends I haven’t seen in a while;
• I commit to daily exercise whether it be a hike with a friends, a solo trek in the park, a bike ride with the kids or some serious dancing;
• I ensure there is ample time allotted to accomplish my work objectives – those things that must be completed this week in order to keep my project moving on track and within budget;
• I book meetings with new acquaintances who are certain to become important people in my business network;
• I confirm a special outing with my children where we will help a friend celebrate his book launch: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=131125776923224&ref=mf
• I carve out ‘play time’ on the weekend to celebrate several milestones with a great friend and colleague but aim, as part of my Vision, to incorporate play (i.e., for me: music, fun, laughter) in as many activities as I can throughout the week.
• I know that a part of each day will be spent in solitude to continuous to nurture my soul… walks in the woods, time at the beach, reading, meditating, writing.
Ahhh… glad I took that PAUSE. Lesson Learned
Today starts the beginning of another work week. It is a Magnificent Monday and, following a healthy breakfast, I give myself what I need to embrace my potential. Keeping my Vision of Success in mind, I begin this Mondays planning my week: at home, at work, at play and at peace.
• I plan my meals for the week so I’ll make healthy food choices (most of the time – it is summer, after all) when I’m alone and with the children;
• I schedule lunch and coffee with friends I haven’t seen in a while;
• I commit to daily exercise whether it be a hike with a friends, a solo trek in the park, a bike ride with the kids or some serious dancing;
• I ensure there is ample time allotted to accomplish my work objectives – those things that must be completed this week in order to keep my project moving on track and within budget;
• I book meetings with new acquaintances who are certain to become important people in my business network;
• I confirm a special outing with my children where we will help a friend celebrate his book launch: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=131125776923224&ref=mf
• I carve out ‘play time’ on the weekend to celebrate several milestones with a great friend and colleague but aim, as part of my Vision, to incorporate play (i.e., for me: music, fun, laughter) in as many activities as I can throughout the week.
• I know that a part of each day will be spent in solitude to continuous to nurture my soul… walks in the woods, time at the beach, reading, meditating, writing.
Ahhh… glad I took that PAUSE. Lesson Learned
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Out with the Old
It seems like I’ve been de-cluttering for several months now. Perhaps as I move into my forties – a new phase in my life – this ‘clearing out’ is a necessary part of transformation: Out with the old to make room for the new. I think so.
When I am surrounded by clutter it can actually FEEL heavy… I suppose all the stuff absorbs energy and I can feel it sucking the life-force from me. Have you ever felt like this? Clutter is one of my triggers that I am getting overwhelmed. When I am too busy with projects and activities, my environment reflects it and I know that it is time to slow down!
In order to get through the process – which always seems SO impossible in the beginning – I will use my 5 Steps for a Successful Execution of my Personal Vision of Success, with a focus on HOME, to stay on track.
Step 1 – CLARITY. I will visualize a clutter-free environment: everything in its place. Only things of value (practical or sentimental) have a place in my home. I will see it clearly.
Step 2 – COMMITMENT. I will make a firm declaration that I am executing my vision of success (as I see it). I will tell my children about the plan so that they can buy into the whole process and hold me accountable, too (and contribute to the vision since it is their environment also).
Step 3 – CHOICE. I will make choices in alignment with my vision. This means thinking twice before accumulating more stuff, and being more conscious over daily activities which create clutter. Organizing different workspaces in the house – kitchen, office, family room, laundry, etc. – so they are more efficient will help a lot.
Step 4 – CONFIDENCE. As I see the results of making the choices above, my confidence will grow. My commitment will be reaffirmed and it will make the tough decisions easier. New habits will be formed and the cycle continues! What a beautiful thing
Step 5 – COMMUNITY. When I know that I’m going to need a little more help (really, a kick in the arse) to get through, I will enlist the help of a trusted friend – one who is not emotionally attached to anything I own. I will marvel at how effortlessly he/she throws my things in the dumpster. Wow! I will know when it’s time to reach out… actually I’m just getting to that point now! And once that help comes, there will be no more excuses!! Out with the Old!! Lesson Learned.
If you are having trouble clearing out the old to make room for the new, ask yourself what limiting beliefs are stopping you. Acknowledge those. Be grateful for the learning. See what is possible without those beliefs that keep you playing small. Go on… clear it out and Embrace Your Potential!
http://www.embracingpotential.com
When I am surrounded by clutter it can actually FEEL heavy… I suppose all the stuff absorbs energy and I can feel it sucking the life-force from me. Have you ever felt like this? Clutter is one of my triggers that I am getting overwhelmed. When I am too busy with projects and activities, my environment reflects it and I know that it is time to slow down!
In order to get through the process – which always seems SO impossible in the beginning – I will use my 5 Steps for a Successful Execution of my Personal Vision of Success, with a focus on HOME, to stay on track.
Step 1 – CLARITY. I will visualize a clutter-free environment: everything in its place. Only things of value (practical or sentimental) have a place in my home. I will see it clearly.
Step 2 – COMMITMENT. I will make a firm declaration that I am executing my vision of success (as I see it). I will tell my children about the plan so that they can buy into the whole process and hold me accountable, too (and contribute to the vision since it is their environment also).
Step 3 – CHOICE. I will make choices in alignment with my vision. This means thinking twice before accumulating more stuff, and being more conscious over daily activities which create clutter. Organizing different workspaces in the house – kitchen, office, family room, laundry, etc. – so they are more efficient will help a lot.
Step 4 – CONFIDENCE. As I see the results of making the choices above, my confidence will grow. My commitment will be reaffirmed and it will make the tough decisions easier. New habits will be formed and the cycle continues! What a beautiful thing
Step 5 – COMMUNITY. When I know that I’m going to need a little more help (really, a kick in the arse) to get through, I will enlist the help of a trusted friend – one who is not emotionally attached to anything I own. I will marvel at how effortlessly he/she throws my things in the dumpster. Wow! I will know when it’s time to reach out… actually I’m just getting to that point now! And once that help comes, there will be no more excuses!! Out with the Old!! Lesson Learned.
If you are having trouble clearing out the old to make room for the new, ask yourself what limiting beliefs are stopping you. Acknowledge those. Be grateful for the learning. See what is possible without those beliefs that keep you playing small. Go on… clear it out and Embrace Your Potential!
http://www.embracingpotential.com
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Time Out!
I just gave myself a week-long Time Out in Mexico. The break was needed to calm the chatter in my mind and the busy-ness in which I had found myself. Even though life is quite fantastic, it has been bustling along at a ferverish pace for quite some time now and I was really starting to feel the need for a great big PAUSE.
In my work as a professional motivator, I teach my clients the 5 step process to embracing their potential: P.A.U.S.E. The first step, and the root of it all is to pause, or take a Time Out. I advise my clients clearly that ‘all you have to remember is to PAUSE, because that’s where all the answers lie’. No matter what your issue is, no matter what pain you are trying to ease, personal or professional, you will find your answers when you step off the Treadmill of Life and pause.
If you are a parent, you may have a very different idea of what a Time Out means; if you are a sports fan, likewise. Ultimately, both scenarios are teaching the same lesson and it is an elemental one. When you take a moment to remove yourself from the current circumstance (a temper tantrum, a series of bad plays, etc.) and breathe (always remember to breathe), you are much better equipped to continue and with success. Cooler heads prevail: confidence rises; fear is quashed; creativity soars; solutions are found where once there existed only chaos and uncertainty. And then there is peace.
This week I went without cell phone or internet. I emptied my mind for prolonged periods of time. At one point I said to my friend, “Guess what I’m thinking about?... Nothing.” And I laughed!!! I caught myself thinking about nothing every now and then as I stared out at the ocean from my hammock. It always made me smile. My time out brought me to places I have never been before. I will not wait another 40 years before I go back. In fact, if I just lay back and rest, I can be there again in my mind…
I can PAUSE at a moment’s notice and so can you. There is no need to go to Mexico but there IS a need to embrace your potential and take a Time Out! Lesson Learned.
If you need assistance in giving yourself a Time Out, contact me at lisa@embracingpotential.com.
Sign up for my monthly e-news at http://www.embracingpotential.com.
In my work as a professional motivator, I teach my clients the 5 step process to embracing their potential: P.A.U.S.E. The first step, and the root of it all is to pause, or take a Time Out. I advise my clients clearly that ‘all you have to remember is to PAUSE, because that’s where all the answers lie’. No matter what your issue is, no matter what pain you are trying to ease, personal or professional, you will find your answers when you step off the Treadmill of Life and pause.
If you are a parent, you may have a very different idea of what a Time Out means; if you are a sports fan, likewise. Ultimately, both scenarios are teaching the same lesson and it is an elemental one. When you take a moment to remove yourself from the current circumstance (a temper tantrum, a series of bad plays, etc.) and breathe (always remember to breathe), you are much better equipped to continue and with success. Cooler heads prevail: confidence rises; fear is quashed; creativity soars; solutions are found where once there existed only chaos and uncertainty. And then there is peace.
This week I went without cell phone or internet. I emptied my mind for prolonged periods of time. At one point I said to my friend, “Guess what I’m thinking about?... Nothing.” And I laughed!!! I caught myself thinking about nothing every now and then as I stared out at the ocean from my hammock. It always made me smile. My time out brought me to places I have never been before. I will not wait another 40 years before I go back. In fact, if I just lay back and rest, I can be there again in my mind…
I can PAUSE at a moment’s notice and so can you. There is no need to go to Mexico but there IS a need to embrace your potential and take a Time Out! Lesson Learned.
If you need assistance in giving yourself a Time Out, contact me at lisa@embracingpotential.com.
Sign up for my monthly e-news at http://www.embracingpotential.com.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Do You Believe in Magic?
Have you ever felt like the sense of wonder that you held fast as a child has been lost to you forever? Are you too busy on the treadmill of life to stop and smell the roses? Does your job, finances, or family responsibilities take up all the space in your brain, leaving no room to experience the magic that is beyond what you can (currently) see?
I invite you to remember, not so long ago…
• The wind blowing through your hair as you pedaled as fast as your little legs could go and the thrill of zooming downhill faster than lightning.
• Feeling light as air as you swung higher and higher after multiple under-ducks on the swings.
• Trying to blow a bubble bigger than your head before your Double Bubble popped all over your face, hair and glasses.
• Staying up too late and getting up too early during a sleepover where there was too much sugar, not enough cake, and just the right amount of silliness.
• Blowing bubbles to see how far they could be carried in the wind before your friends stomped on them.
When you are desperate to reconnect with the magic that can be found as easily as it is lost, I highly recommend consulting with the experts. I have two of my own, aged 9 and 11. Spending quality time playing with children can magically take your mind of bills, reports, laundry and back pain. They say that laughter is the best medicine and I believe that the magic shared in a moment of childish fun can create lasting peace and happiness in your world and in the world at large.
If you don’t have your own children, please take mine!!! Just kidding, but I’m willing to bet your friends or relatives wouldn’t mind you sharing in their magic for a while. There are many volunteer programs where you can get a bit of this magic on an ongoing basis and make a difference in the life of someone else. Big Brothers Big Sisters is a program with which I have been associated for many years. Friday past, my 12-year-old mentee and I hosted a variety show in his grade six class. I feel so grateful to have shared the past three years with them, one lunch time a week, and I told them so. I got goosebumps and was practically moved to tears as I watched these kids strut their stuff. They were free to be themselves in a safe and supportive environment. What magic, indeed!
So, how will you recapture the magic of childhood today? I feel the Tilt-o-Whirl beckoning me from the fair that’s in town; then, there’s the new Shrek 3D movie… ah, so many choices. YES, I believe in magic and I trust you do, too. Lesson Learned.
I invite you to remember, not so long ago…
• The wind blowing through your hair as you pedaled as fast as your little legs could go and the thrill of zooming downhill faster than lightning.
• Feeling light as air as you swung higher and higher after multiple under-ducks on the swings.
• Trying to blow a bubble bigger than your head before your Double Bubble popped all over your face, hair and glasses.
• Staying up too late and getting up too early during a sleepover where there was too much sugar, not enough cake, and just the right amount of silliness.
• Blowing bubbles to see how far they could be carried in the wind before your friends stomped on them.
When you are desperate to reconnect with the magic that can be found as easily as it is lost, I highly recommend consulting with the experts. I have two of my own, aged 9 and 11. Spending quality time playing with children can magically take your mind of bills, reports, laundry and back pain. They say that laughter is the best medicine and I believe that the magic shared in a moment of childish fun can create lasting peace and happiness in your world and in the world at large.
If you don’t have your own children, please take mine!!! Just kidding, but I’m willing to bet your friends or relatives wouldn’t mind you sharing in their magic for a while. There are many volunteer programs where you can get a bit of this magic on an ongoing basis and make a difference in the life of someone else. Big Brothers Big Sisters is a program with which I have been associated for many years. Friday past, my 12-year-old mentee and I hosted a variety show in his grade six class. I feel so grateful to have shared the past three years with them, one lunch time a week, and I told them so. I got goosebumps and was practically moved to tears as I watched these kids strut their stuff. They were free to be themselves in a safe and supportive environment. What magic, indeed!
So, how will you recapture the magic of childhood today? I feel the Tilt-o-Whirl beckoning me from the fair that’s in town; then, there’s the new Shrek 3D movie… ah, so many choices. YES, I believe in magic and I trust you do, too. Lesson Learned.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Little Girl's Growing Up
It has been such a busy few weeks that I haven’t been finding much time to write. Today, I honor my biggest distraction and my biggest inspiration: my daughter, Sydney, who turns 9 year old today.
Sydney is my precious second born child, my Gemini through and through. She has boundless energy that starts as soon as she pops out of bed in the morning. She is full of life and loves life. Her nature is such that she doesn’t settle on one thing for long; and while she flits from one activity to another, she never complains of being bored nor does she require constant attention to maintain her good mood. While there is no doubt of her extroversion, Sydney finds pleasure in quiet times, too. (Okay, it does usually involve her talking with her dolls or stuffed animals, but she does manage is what I am saying!)
From her blond curls to her toes, Sydney is my sunshine. She is dramatic, to be sure, and there is never a dull moment around her. She loves people and is very caring and compassionate. In many ways, she is like her mom… but she is unique with her special gifts. Every day, Sydney brings a smile to my face and faces of everyone that sees her.
Sydney, my sunshine. I truly love her… I also like her a lot. It is for these reasons that she gives me the inspiration to be who I am in the world. I recognize the immense influence I have on my daughter. I want the best for her so I choose to live by example, demonstrating what is possible when you embrace your potential. Lesson Learned.
Sydney is my precious second born child, my Gemini through and through. She has boundless energy that starts as soon as she pops out of bed in the morning. She is full of life and loves life. Her nature is such that she doesn’t settle on one thing for long; and while she flits from one activity to another, she never complains of being bored nor does she require constant attention to maintain her good mood. While there is no doubt of her extroversion, Sydney finds pleasure in quiet times, too. (Okay, it does usually involve her talking with her dolls or stuffed animals, but she does manage is what I am saying!)
From her blond curls to her toes, Sydney is my sunshine. She is dramatic, to be sure, and there is never a dull moment around her. She loves people and is very caring and compassionate. In many ways, she is like her mom… but she is unique with her special gifts. Every day, Sydney brings a smile to my face and faces of everyone that sees her.
Sydney, my sunshine. I truly love her… I also like her a lot. It is for these reasons that she gives me the inspiration to be who I am in the world. I recognize the immense influence I have on my daughter. I want the best for her so I choose to live by example, demonstrating what is possible when you embrace your potential. Lesson Learned.
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