Friday past, I ended a night of dancing with my girlfriends to George Michael’s Freedom ’90 and I haven’t gotten it out of my head since. Upon reviewing the lyrics I see that it was more the energy of the song and the meaning I gave the word FREEDOM that got me so worked up. The following day, getting ready for an afternoon ride on motorcycle, I donned my yellow t-shirt with the word Freedom emblazoned across the chest. Appropriate attire… I think, yes. Travelling down windy highways around the coast of this beautiful province, barely hanging on the back, as a passenger that day I let go of all control and sat back to enjoy the ride. It was a marvelous adventure and the sense of peace that came with such abandon was remarkable. And, quite frankly, tossing my long straight hair (still getting used to this after a lifetime of short curly hair) in the wind after taking off the helmet – AWESOME! I am grateful for the experience and trust it will come again soon (hint to cycle owner).
Ah sweet freedom! It’s a word that conjures many meanings and interesting discussion, at least in my life lately. Lately, when I’ve been watching movies, I have paid more attention to the dialogue and actually recorded a few statements that left me riveted. Once such example, from Catwoman (with Halle Berry): “All your life you have been caged. By accepting who you are - all that you are - you can be truly free.” Have you ever felt like you were trapped in a life that you didn’t choose or that a situation has engulfed you to the point where you can barely breathe?
I have felt like that in the past – unable to freely express myself; unable to do the things I want. The truth is, I was the one who chose not to exercise my freedom. I created a reality in which I buried my true self, thinking that it had to be hidden from view. I assumed the dutiful role, as you may have, in order to keep the peace and not rock the boat; all the while, I was stifling my true desires and not being honest with myself or anyone else. Placing blaming on someone else for this circumstance served only to keep me in victim mode and in a powerless position. Finally, I decided that enough was enough.
After I accepted the responsibility for the situation that I created and understood the lesson to be learned, I was determined to see what was possible as I regained my sense of freedom. The last step in this process is to embrace potential and that’s what I did. (This process, which I will write about soon, is the foundation for my workshop Embrace Your Potential found on my website: http://www.embracingpotential.com/.)
The concept of freedom, like most others, means different things to different people. I searched for definitions on-line and found: “the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints; immunity from an obligation or duty.” I accept those definitions but I find myself in discussions lately about freedom in the context of a relationship and have grappled to clearly expressed my thoughts on the matter.
My attempt: I believe that within a healthy, interdependent relationship, romantic or not, both parties can be free to act or speak without restraint. I believe that a relationship demands respect, but that this respect is not an obligation but a choice, and therefore does not exist to restrict freedom. Respect is giving mutually and as a fundamental component of the relationship. When respect is present, as a (love- as opposed to fear-) response, and both parties accept who they are individually and within the relationship - all that they are - they can be truly free. (Just like the lady in Catwoman said.) And as George Michael sang (and my girlfriends and I bellowed), “I don’t belong to you and you don’t belong to me.” Imagine how powerful two people can be in such a relationship! Lesson Learned there and some!! Thank you.
Professional Motivator, Lisa Payne, finds inspiration in everyday events to help others embrace their potential.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Surrender Judgment
What would your world look like if you let go of the need to be right? What if, for one day, you surrendered all judgment? What do you suppose would happen to your relationships, your workplace, your home life? How would you feel inside?
Letting go of preconceived ideas is very difficult for some more than others. This continues to be the area of my ego that challenges me most. As a reformed perfectionist, it is ‘easy’ for me to slip back into old patterns of judgment, where I find fault OR excellence in all things. My mind is a judging machine! Even my Myers’ Briggs profile: ENFJ tells me I am, so I must be, right?? J
Yes, I have been right many times and when I am not as sure, I gather evidence (like the MB typing above) to back me up. I have surrounded myself with people that support my views and avoided those who challenge me. My Type A personality (more evidence) has had me so wound up when the world around me appears ‘wrong’ that I can barely cope… I have manifested illness like chronic back pain and headaches as I fight the concept of surrender: wouldn’t that make me wrong?? Wait, isn’t THAT another judgment?
I feel like I have been typing in circles. I apologize for that to the reader who is trying to pick some sense out of this blog today. The fact is that, without surrendering judgment, our minds do create vicious cycles that are difficult to stop. Once we decide that we are right, it automatically makes someone else wrong. How can good come from that? When we are in the cycle of judgment, we can easily miss the beauty of the imperfection of life.
If we remove the ultimate word of judgment, “should”, from our vocabulary, freedom will reign. Think about it! How many times each day do you find yourself saying things like: “I really should do the dishes now; The kids should do their homework now; My spouse should fix this now; My dad should mind his own business. My neighbor should take better care of …?” Surrender yourself to the flow of the Universe, and suspend judgment – even if for one day – and take note of the change in you and your environment.
When we surrender judgment, we have a remarkable opportunity to learn about ourselves. How we judge others is often how we perceive ourselves to be lacking. If we judge another to be stupid, fat, or ugly, it often comes from a deeper self-image issue that we need to address in ourselves. When we judge others to be imperfect, we are projecting the feeling of imperfection that we view in ourselves, even if we do so unconsciously. It is imperative (is that a judgment?) that we look inward to the source of our insecurities that ultimately cause us to form judgments. Accept what is and surrender the need to be right.
Imagine if we recognized the Divine beauty in all people and all things, accepting that how we see them is actually different than how others do. This is part of what makes this a wonderful world! We are blessed with the capacity to change our minds and change our worlds. Embrace the imperfect because it is there where beauty lies. Respond with compassion and love. Do this for yourself first, then other. Move forward with an open heart to what is possible and you will find inner and outer peace. What a beautiful Lesson Learned.
Visit my new website: www.embracingpotential.com
Letting go of preconceived ideas is very difficult for some more than others. This continues to be the area of my ego that challenges me most. As a reformed perfectionist, it is ‘easy’ for me to slip back into old patterns of judgment, where I find fault OR excellence in all things. My mind is a judging machine! Even my Myers’ Briggs profile: ENFJ tells me I am, so I must be, right?? J
Yes, I have been right many times and when I am not as sure, I gather evidence (like the MB typing above) to back me up. I have surrounded myself with people that support my views and avoided those who challenge me. My Type A personality (more evidence) has had me so wound up when the world around me appears ‘wrong’ that I can barely cope… I have manifested illness like chronic back pain and headaches as I fight the concept of surrender: wouldn’t that make me wrong?? Wait, isn’t THAT another judgment?
I feel like I have been typing in circles. I apologize for that to the reader who is trying to pick some sense out of this blog today. The fact is that, without surrendering judgment, our minds do create vicious cycles that are difficult to stop. Once we decide that we are right, it automatically makes someone else wrong. How can good come from that? When we are in the cycle of judgment, we can easily miss the beauty of the imperfection of life.
If we remove the ultimate word of judgment, “should”, from our vocabulary, freedom will reign. Think about it! How many times each day do you find yourself saying things like: “I really should do the dishes now; The kids should do their homework now; My spouse should fix this now; My dad should mind his own business. My neighbor should take better care of …?” Surrender yourself to the flow of the Universe, and suspend judgment – even if for one day – and take note of the change in you and your environment.
When we surrender judgment, we have a remarkable opportunity to learn about ourselves. How we judge others is often how we perceive ourselves to be lacking. If we judge another to be stupid, fat, or ugly, it often comes from a deeper self-image issue that we need to address in ourselves. When we judge others to be imperfect, we are projecting the feeling of imperfection that we view in ourselves, even if we do so unconsciously. It is imperative (is that a judgment?) that we look inward to the source of our insecurities that ultimately cause us to form judgments. Accept what is and surrender the need to be right.
Imagine if we recognized the Divine beauty in all people and all things, accepting that how we see them is actually different than how others do. This is part of what makes this a wonderful world! We are blessed with the capacity to change our minds and change our worlds. Embrace the imperfect because it is there where beauty lies. Respond with compassion and love. Do this for yourself first, then other. Move forward with an open heart to what is possible and you will find inner and outer peace. What a beautiful Lesson Learned.
Visit my new website: www.embracingpotential.com
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Soulful Sundays
Sundays is considered a day of rest for many people and has traditionally involved some form of religious observation. Although it has been a while since I have attended church on Sunday mornings, I find peaceful satisfaction in nurturing my spirit and spirituality on Soulful Sundays. As Sundays have become a day where I tend to my heart’s desire, it can’t help but be a day of rest for me.
It is a day where I get in touch with my spirit and what may be lacking; I restore my energy and my consciousness in order to live in possibility each and every day. It is a vital part of the process to have one day for such self-care. Sundays have been it fore me for the past 5 years.
I have a number of books and meditation CDs that I use to help in this process. On fair weather days I head to the beach, to my Quiet Space. When I am able to relax my body and mind, my spirit gets revitalized. It often needs this because of Sinful Saturdays!! As I let myself go into indulgence on Saturday, the order of business on Soulful Sunday starts with forgiveness for whatever I have chosen throughout the week that may not have been in alignment with my vision of success. Allowing myself the room to deviate in advance (part of the Sinful Saturday plan) makes this much easier than in the past but is still important and leads to full self-acceptance.
Today, in particular, I had to forgive myself for a number of disempowering thoughts that I experienced yesterday. As much as I try to avoid them, the Universe tests me like everyone else and leaves me in a state of victimhood now and then. In order to regain ground, I first recognize where I have traveled, let the feelings surface, and then focus on how I am being. If I were not BEING a state ripe for victimhood, I would not have attracted those circumstances that me made feel disempowered. I use this analysis as an opportunity to learn. I forgive myself for going to that dark place, regardless of how long it lasted, and being to create anew. It is remarkable, with hindsight, how we give up our power to such trivial things. The fact is that it does happen to each of us, and the quicker we are able to acknowledge and recover, the less often it will happen and the less destructive it will.
How are you nurturing your spirit on this Soulful Sunday? Will you take the time to examine your thoughts and actions and forgive any ‘trespasses’? Be the change you want to see in your world. It is an ‘inside job’ after all.
My day has been spent with my two wonderful children. After sleeping in, we broke up the raining day with a bridal shower (we all won door prizes!), a trip to Chapters, and some quiet relaxation. For me, that meant meditation, reading and writing. For them, it meant reading and playing. This evening will be a little more lively with our weekly Dance Dance Revolution competition on the Wii. Our Soulful Sundays are filled with different activities that nurture various parts of our spirit with relaxed expressions of creativity, alone time and togetherness. It is a great way to wind up the week and prepare ourselves for the return of Magnificent Monday.
I have enjoyed this day in ways that I could not before. Now that I consciously decide how I will spend my time. It is how I live my life on purpose. Involving the children in this pursuit makes them more conscious as well. It is my way of teaching them about choice, forgiveness and empowerment. It is a Lesson Learned that I choose to impart on my children and anyone I touch because I see the power of possibility in each of us.
Check out my new website: http://www.embracingpotential.com
It is a day where I get in touch with my spirit and what may be lacking; I restore my energy and my consciousness in order to live in possibility each and every day. It is a vital part of the process to have one day for such self-care. Sundays have been it fore me for the past 5 years.
I have a number of books and meditation CDs that I use to help in this process. On fair weather days I head to the beach, to my Quiet Space. When I am able to relax my body and mind, my spirit gets revitalized. It often needs this because of Sinful Saturdays!! As I let myself go into indulgence on Saturday, the order of business on Soulful Sunday starts with forgiveness for whatever I have chosen throughout the week that may not have been in alignment with my vision of success. Allowing myself the room to deviate in advance (part of the Sinful Saturday plan) makes this much easier than in the past but is still important and leads to full self-acceptance.
Today, in particular, I had to forgive myself for a number of disempowering thoughts that I experienced yesterday. As much as I try to avoid them, the Universe tests me like everyone else and leaves me in a state of victimhood now and then. In order to regain ground, I first recognize where I have traveled, let the feelings surface, and then focus on how I am being. If I were not BEING a state ripe for victimhood, I would not have attracted those circumstances that me made feel disempowered. I use this analysis as an opportunity to learn. I forgive myself for going to that dark place, regardless of how long it lasted, and being to create anew. It is remarkable, with hindsight, how we give up our power to such trivial things. The fact is that it does happen to each of us, and the quicker we are able to acknowledge and recover, the less often it will happen and the less destructive it will.
How are you nurturing your spirit on this Soulful Sunday? Will you take the time to examine your thoughts and actions and forgive any ‘trespasses’? Be the change you want to see in your world. It is an ‘inside job’ after all.
My day has been spent with my two wonderful children. After sleeping in, we broke up the raining day with a bridal shower (we all won door prizes!), a trip to Chapters, and some quiet relaxation. For me, that meant meditation, reading and writing. For them, it meant reading and playing. This evening will be a little more lively with our weekly Dance Dance Revolution competition on the Wii. Our Soulful Sundays are filled with different activities that nurture various parts of our spirit with relaxed expressions of creativity, alone time and togetherness. It is a great way to wind up the week and prepare ourselves for the return of Magnificent Monday.
I have enjoyed this day in ways that I could not before. Now that I consciously decide how I will spend my time. It is how I live my life on purpose. Involving the children in this pursuit makes them more conscious as well. It is my way of teaching them about choice, forgiveness and empowerment. It is a Lesson Learned that I choose to impart on my children and anyone I touch because I see the power of possibility in each of us.
Check out my new website: http://www.embracingpotential.com
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Sinful Saturdays
Having just returned from wedding number 3, I feel like I have already lived Sinful Saturday and need to fully recuperate! Yes, I have often thought of Saturday as my day to be sinful… a day where I indulge in whatever pleases me, with little regard for the consequences. Now, I’m not talking about breaking laws or breaking bones, but I have found that having one day set aside for breaking rules is good for the soul.
On Saturday, many of us sleep in. Often because of a late Fabulously Fun Friday night or just because we can!! We don’t have to jet off to work or take the kids to school or camp. We eat a bigger breakfast than usual – mine was a big one today cooked by the person who accommodated me for wedding 1 and 3 in Placentia. Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, (white!) toast with butter, and three glasses of apple juice (I was dehydrated). This is a far cry from the usual cereal with fruit I have the other 6 days of the week.
Saturdays are usually carefree for me. I like to take the day on as it comes and not abide by any set schedule. I take advantage of whatever opportunity arises and if it involves a barbecue and wine, it’s even better! Tonight, my indulgence is a bit more tame and that’s not a bad thing, considering we were dancing until 3AM this morning. (Yes, Sinful Saturday started earlier than normal this week!) I am off to spend the evening watching the newly release Ice Age 3 with my two children and one of their friends. A huge bag of popcorn and drink should do it to keep the sinful theme alive today. I have been known, of late, to smuggle a Tupperware container of edamame and a bottle of Dasani into the theatre in order to stave off the cravings and keep on track with my nutrition plan.
Speaking of which, the idea of the Sinful Saturday really came from my new nutrition and wellness coach, Carl George. (www.healthyliving.ca) In developing new habits around a new healthy lifestyle, Carl has “insisted” that I leave one day a week where I forgo the exercise regime and eat whatever I want. Is there any wonder I LOVE this man!
Interestingly enough, I have realized that when you actually give yourself permission to misbehave, it looses its appeal… especially when it comes to food. Your body just doesn’t respond as well to the fries and gravy at 2:00AM :S
Having said that, I do like having the freedom to choose to be sinful every now and then. Again, giving myself permission to do so alleviates the guilt I once felt. As a reformed perfectionist, this is a huge Lesson Learned.
Check out my new website: www.embracingpotential.com
On Saturday, many of us sleep in. Often because of a late Fabulously Fun Friday night or just because we can!! We don’t have to jet off to work or take the kids to school or camp. We eat a bigger breakfast than usual – mine was a big one today cooked by the person who accommodated me for wedding 1 and 3 in Placentia. Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, (white!) toast with butter, and three glasses of apple juice (I was dehydrated). This is a far cry from the usual cereal with fruit I have the other 6 days of the week.
Saturdays are usually carefree for me. I like to take the day on as it comes and not abide by any set schedule. I take advantage of whatever opportunity arises and if it involves a barbecue and wine, it’s even better! Tonight, my indulgence is a bit more tame and that’s not a bad thing, considering we were dancing until 3AM this morning. (Yes, Sinful Saturday started earlier than normal this week!) I am off to spend the evening watching the newly release Ice Age 3 with my two children and one of their friends. A huge bag of popcorn and drink should do it to keep the sinful theme alive today. I have been known, of late, to smuggle a Tupperware container of edamame and a bottle of Dasani into the theatre in order to stave off the cravings and keep on track with my nutrition plan.
Speaking of which, the idea of the Sinful Saturday really came from my new nutrition and wellness coach, Carl George. (www.healthyliving.ca) In developing new habits around a new healthy lifestyle, Carl has “insisted” that I leave one day a week where I forgo the exercise regime and eat whatever I want. Is there any wonder I LOVE this man!
Interestingly enough, I have realized that when you actually give yourself permission to misbehave, it looses its appeal… especially when it comes to food. Your body just doesn’t respond as well to the fries and gravy at 2:00AM :S
Having said that, I do like having the freedom to choose to be sinful every now and then. Again, giving myself permission to do so alleviates the guilt I once felt. As a reformed perfectionist, this is a huge Lesson Learned.
Check out my new website: www.embracingpotential.com
Friday, July 17, 2009
Fabulously Fun Fridays
Thank God It’s Friday… that’s what they all say! For as long as I can remember, Friday has always been my favorite day of the week. What I like about Friday, it it’s potential to include every aspect of my life in one 24-hour period. That’s why I refer to them as Fabulously Fun Fridays. I enjoy them to the fullest, no matter what is on the agenda because of the energy the day brings – or it is the energy I bring to it??
What kind of energy do you bring to the mat on Fabulously Fun Fridays? Are you generally more relaxed? In once-formal office environments, people are dressing down for Casual Fridays and going out for lunch in groups. Music is heard in offices and drivers are more courteous (except when they are all in a mad tear to get out of town at 4:00PM). We are in celebration mode and everyone is happy!
What puts you in this happy frame of mind on Fabulously Fun Fridays? Are you plain glad to have the work done again for another week; to be that much closer to retirement? The more mindful we are of the reasons behind our euphoria on Friday, the better able we are to create a life where this feeling is present EVERY DAY. What a gift that would be!! Imagine, everyone walking about on Monday or Wednesday looking as if it was Fabulously Fun Friday. I’m ready to see that. How about you?
As I write, it is 8:32AM and the Friday Song has just played on OZFM, a local radio station. This song has been played at 8:30AM and 5:00PM for a number of years. It is a song of celebration; a compilation of crazy, upbeat tunes that truly capture the energy of Friday. Listening to this music serves to me in a partying mood and certainly, full of “piss and vinegar”, ready to take on the world!
My kids have come to look forward to this song as well. Even at ages (almost) 11 and 8, they have come to internalize the glorification of Fridays. IT is the last day of their school or summer camp week. They get to stay up later than normal, watch movies or play Wii, and often have friends sleep over. For them, it is also a day to see both parents. For the past five years, they have been moving between two houses and, recently, Fabulously Fun Fridays have been the big day. They are brought to camp by one parent and picked up by another. It is an interesting perspective and one that is shared on some level with their parents. For example, they have had a full week with their father and are likely READY to leave just like I am now READY to welcome them back to my house after having a week without them. Once they have been with me for a week, I am READY to give them back!!! In all seriousness, we are very fortunate that this arrangement has worked well for us. The children are very content in both homes and we, as parents, have gotten used to the dichotomy that this lifestyle affords. Every other Fabulously Fun Friday, I live it up with my two wonderful kids, and alternate Fridays, I find fun on my own (usually with fabulously fun friends!).
Today, I will exercise, write my blog, complete a couple of reports for work, have coffee with friends, close a business deal, and then head out of town for Wedding #3 of the summer (actually, within the last 8 days). It’s sunny AGAIN (!). I have a great dress to wear tonight. There will be fun, food, laughter and love. It will all be Fabulous!!
Lesson Learned :)
Check out my website, launched this week: http://www.embracingpotential.com
What kind of energy do you bring to the mat on Fabulously Fun Fridays? Are you generally more relaxed? In once-formal office environments, people are dressing down for Casual Fridays and going out for lunch in groups. Music is heard in offices and drivers are more courteous (except when they are all in a mad tear to get out of town at 4:00PM). We are in celebration mode and everyone is happy!
What puts you in this happy frame of mind on Fabulously Fun Fridays? Are you plain glad to have the work done again for another week; to be that much closer to retirement? The more mindful we are of the reasons behind our euphoria on Friday, the better able we are to create a life where this feeling is present EVERY DAY. What a gift that would be!! Imagine, everyone walking about on Monday or Wednesday looking as if it was Fabulously Fun Friday. I’m ready to see that. How about you?
As I write, it is 8:32AM and the Friday Song has just played on OZFM, a local radio station. This song has been played at 8:30AM and 5:00PM for a number of years. It is a song of celebration; a compilation of crazy, upbeat tunes that truly capture the energy of Friday. Listening to this music serves to me in a partying mood and certainly, full of “piss and vinegar”, ready to take on the world!
My kids have come to look forward to this song as well. Even at ages (almost) 11 and 8, they have come to internalize the glorification of Fridays. IT is the last day of their school or summer camp week. They get to stay up later than normal, watch movies or play Wii, and often have friends sleep over. For them, it is also a day to see both parents. For the past five years, they have been moving between two houses and, recently, Fabulously Fun Fridays have been the big day. They are brought to camp by one parent and picked up by another. It is an interesting perspective and one that is shared on some level with their parents. For example, they have had a full week with their father and are likely READY to leave just like I am now READY to welcome them back to my house after having a week without them. Once they have been with me for a week, I am READY to give them back!!! In all seriousness, we are very fortunate that this arrangement has worked well for us. The children are very content in both homes and we, as parents, have gotten used to the dichotomy that this lifestyle affords. Every other Fabulously Fun Friday, I live it up with my two wonderful kids, and alternate Fridays, I find fun on my own (usually with fabulously fun friends!).
Today, I will exercise, write my blog, complete a couple of reports for work, have coffee with friends, close a business deal, and then head out of town for Wedding #3 of the summer (actually, within the last 8 days). It’s sunny AGAIN (!). I have a great dress to wear tonight. There will be fun, food, laughter and love. It will all be Fabulous!!
Lesson Learned :)
Check out my website, launched this week: http://www.embracingpotential.com
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thought-full Thursdays
This morning when I woke up, I mentally reviewed what I wanted to DO today and I switched my thoughts immediately to how I would have to BE to accomplish those things. Today will be another full day with lots of different activities. I wanted to start it off mindfully. “Thought-full Thursdays” came to mind as I considered how much more awareness I have become of my thoughts and the reality they create for me every day.
I started my day with a walk around Neil’s Pond. It is close to a neighborhood where my parents live now and I often stop in for a visit on my way to or from. Not today, however, as I ventured out at the beginning of the day instead of the end which is my normal routine. It was a great decision. My mind was clear and open for suggestion! I came away with some new ideas (one is particularly brilliant and I swear I wouldn’t have thought about it at my desk!!) and an incredible feeling of fulfillment.
Imagine starting every day feeling that way? You can, of course. I like to start the day thinking of how I will be BE. What I will DO comes naturally and what I will HAVE at the end of it all is sometime a surprise, but usually a great one! On Thought-full Thursdays I think a lot, particularly about what has happened over the course of the week. It provides an opportunity to regroup and adjust if I have strayed off course. I evaluate where I am in relation to where I would like to be at home, at work, at play and at peace. Because the week isn’t over, there’s still time to make it right!! Funny, THAT sounds like an old way of thinking J
There isn’t a deadline for living your life on purpose. It is important, however, to check in once and a while, consciously, if you are operating in alignment with your core values. Whether you choose to do this ritually on Thought-full Thursday or once a month or every day in meditation, it will serve you well. I have come to enjoy this process very much. Another great Lesson Learned.
I started my day with a walk around Neil’s Pond. It is close to a neighborhood where my parents live now and I often stop in for a visit on my way to or from. Not today, however, as I ventured out at the beginning of the day instead of the end which is my normal routine. It was a great decision. My mind was clear and open for suggestion! I came away with some new ideas (one is particularly brilliant and I swear I wouldn’t have thought about it at my desk!!) and an incredible feeling of fulfillment.
Imagine starting every day feeling that way? You can, of course. I like to start the day thinking of how I will be BE. What I will DO comes naturally and what I will HAVE at the end of it all is sometime a surprise, but usually a great one! On Thought-full Thursdays I think a lot, particularly about what has happened over the course of the week. It provides an opportunity to regroup and adjust if I have strayed off course. I evaluate where I am in relation to where I would like to be at home, at work, at play and at peace. Because the week isn’t over, there’s still time to make it right!! Funny, THAT sounds like an old way of thinking J
There isn’t a deadline for living your life on purpose. It is important, however, to check in once and a while, consciously, if you are operating in alignment with your core values. Whether you choose to do this ritually on Thought-full Thursday or once a month or every day in meditation, it will serve you well. I have come to enjoy this process very much. Another great Lesson Learned.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Wonderful Wednesdays
Ah… Wednesday. “Hump Day” as it is commonly known. A day that many feel they have to ‘get over’ or survive in order to get that much closer to the weekend. Now wait just a minute! I’m looking outside on another glorious day (isn’t interesting that the weather has been great each day since I started writing??) and I’m thinking that I don’t want to just ‘survive’ this day, I want to LIVE it!!
My day has already started off in a great way. I woke up with a smile on my face. Read some lovely emails and comments on Facebook about the blog and my new profile picture. I know what I’m going to do today and it involves a balance of home, work, play and peace. I have some light housework to do (my mother does the heavy stuff!), a couple of work appointments and a BIG business proposal to submit (exciting!!), a date with a friend for the St. John’s International Jazz Festival, a motorcycle ride, and a hike by the ocean and my Quiet Space. Sounds like a Wonderful Wednesday to me J
While I just told you all about what I am going to DO today, the ideas about what to do have been generated without difficulty from the notion of who I want to BE on this Wonderful Wednesday. Today, I want to be relaxed, accomplished, efficient, fun, healthy, loving, and caring. This is not always who I want to be because it depends on my focus for the day. I can tell you, however, that as I strive to live my life on purpose, I try to ensure that who I am being each day falls within my grand vision of success. When I “mess up” or catch myself out of alignment with my vision, I have to gently remind myself that I need to change my thoughts or actions (what I am doing) in order to have what I want. It takes more coaxing some days than others to Let Go and Let God, to surrender whatever I am feeling, and to come back to the truth that is ME. But when I do, I know it is the right thing for me.
When you think about having those things you desire, try working backwards and using the BE, DO, HAVE technique. How I am being, will lead me to do, and then I will have. It all comes back to how you are being in that moment. Remember that what you think about, you bring about. That is the Law of Attraction. It all starts inside your head. And the ripple effect is has is amazing!! Imagine how differently the people around you would be if you changed the way you were being. Try it. I have. It can produce miracles J
Who are you going to BE today to make this a Wonderful Wednesday for you and someone else? It’s something to think about. For me, a Lesson Learned.
My day has already started off in a great way. I woke up with a smile on my face. Read some lovely emails and comments on Facebook about the blog and my new profile picture. I know what I’m going to do today and it involves a balance of home, work, play and peace. I have some light housework to do (my mother does the heavy stuff!), a couple of work appointments and a BIG business proposal to submit (exciting!!), a date with a friend for the St. John’s International Jazz Festival, a motorcycle ride, and a hike by the ocean and my Quiet Space. Sounds like a Wonderful Wednesday to me J
While I just told you all about what I am going to DO today, the ideas about what to do have been generated without difficulty from the notion of who I want to BE on this Wonderful Wednesday. Today, I want to be relaxed, accomplished, efficient, fun, healthy, loving, and caring. This is not always who I want to be because it depends on my focus for the day. I can tell you, however, that as I strive to live my life on purpose, I try to ensure that who I am being each day falls within my grand vision of success. When I “mess up” or catch myself out of alignment with my vision, I have to gently remind myself that I need to change my thoughts or actions (what I am doing) in order to have what I want. It takes more coaxing some days than others to Let Go and Let God, to surrender whatever I am feeling, and to come back to the truth that is ME. But when I do, I know it is the right thing for me.
When you think about having those things you desire, try working backwards and using the BE, DO, HAVE technique. How I am being, will lead me to do, and then I will have. It all comes back to how you are being in that moment. Remember that what you think about, you bring about. That is the Law of Attraction. It all starts inside your head. And the ripple effect is has is amazing!! Imagine how differently the people around you would be if you changed the way you were being. Try it. I have. It can produce miracles J
Who are you going to BE today to make this a Wonderful Wednesday for you and someone else? It’s something to think about. For me, a Lesson Learned.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Terrific Tuesdays
Yesterday I returned to writing for my blog and I realized how much I like this expression of creativity. It is a great way to flesh out ideas and get in touch with your higher self.
How we view the passage of time is not only a reflection of societal times as I mentioned yesterday but how we view ourselves. After significant thought yesterday, I came up with an adjective for each day of the week that I felt accurately reflected my personality and my outlook on the world. Today is Terrific Tuesday!
Generally speaking, Tuesday gets the short end of the notoriety stick as the day of the week that has the least pizzazz. It’s not dreaded like Monday, overcome like “Hump Day” (a.k.a. Wednesday), anticipated like Friday and then, there’s the weekend. Don’t think that I forgot Thursday… Thursday has always had a greater line-up on TV than Tuesday, hands down! The generous and compassion being that I am decided to give Tuesday its due with a great new “title” and some fodder for your consideration.
Tuesday also happens to be the day of the week on which my son, Joel, was born.
I think of Terrific Tuesdays as a day of action. After all the planning, strategizing and prioritizing of Monday, there is ample focus to make this happen in the direction of my goals. Thos goals may be as simple [I use this term loosely for personal reasons] a family dinner (remembering to defrost the meat in advance) or landed a new client. Regardless of the prize, it will require action to manifest. The quality or value of the prize is often linked to the quality of the action taken.
Those of you that have read The Secret and other material about the Law of Attraction know well the three steps to manifesting your desires: Ask, Believe, Receive. One of the most popular criticism of The Secret is that there is no Action in these steps. Honestly, that was not my perception of the book. My personal belief is that you attract what you think most about. If you desire something, it is worthwhile to get as clear as possible about what that things “looks like”. [Ask] When you visualize it, provides much detail, particularly about how you would feel when you have it. [Believe] Opportunities will present themselves to manifest your desires. You must to be open to see the possibilities. [Receive] This heightened awareness of the Law of Attraction is inspiring. It is humbling as well when you realize that you have the power within you to manifest whatever you want.
On this Terrific Tuesday, I have a number of things on my manifestation list. Some are practical; some fanciful. All of them have one thing in common: ME. They are my desires. It is my life and I choose to attract that which serves me. On this Terrific Tuesday, I exercise the power to attract into my life things that make me smile. What’s on your list? How will you make today a Terrific Tuesday?
A conscious decision to create my reality each day is a powerful tool; another Lesson Learned for which I am truly grateful.
How we view the passage of time is not only a reflection of societal times as I mentioned yesterday but how we view ourselves. After significant thought yesterday, I came up with an adjective for each day of the week that I felt accurately reflected my personality and my outlook on the world. Today is Terrific Tuesday!
Generally speaking, Tuesday gets the short end of the notoriety stick as the day of the week that has the least pizzazz. It’s not dreaded like Monday, overcome like “Hump Day” (a.k.a. Wednesday), anticipated like Friday and then, there’s the weekend. Don’t think that I forgot Thursday… Thursday has always had a greater line-up on TV than Tuesday, hands down! The generous and compassion being that I am decided to give Tuesday its due with a great new “title” and some fodder for your consideration.
Tuesday also happens to be the day of the week on which my son, Joel, was born.
I think of Terrific Tuesdays as a day of action. After all the planning, strategizing and prioritizing of Monday, there is ample focus to make this happen in the direction of my goals. Thos goals may be as simple [I use this term loosely for personal reasons] a family dinner (remembering to defrost the meat in advance) or landed a new client. Regardless of the prize, it will require action to manifest. The quality or value of the prize is often linked to the quality of the action taken.
Those of you that have read The Secret and other material about the Law of Attraction know well the three steps to manifesting your desires: Ask, Believe, Receive. One of the most popular criticism of The Secret is that there is no Action in these steps. Honestly, that was not my perception of the book. My personal belief is that you attract what you think most about. If you desire something, it is worthwhile to get as clear as possible about what that things “looks like”. [Ask] When you visualize it, provides much detail, particularly about how you would feel when you have it. [Believe] Opportunities will present themselves to manifest your desires. You must to be open to see the possibilities. [Receive] This heightened awareness of the Law of Attraction is inspiring. It is humbling as well when you realize that you have the power within you to manifest whatever you want.
On this Terrific Tuesday, I have a number of things on my manifestation list. Some are practical; some fanciful. All of them have one thing in common: ME. They are my desires. It is my life and I choose to attract that which serves me. On this Terrific Tuesday, I exercise the power to attract into my life things that make me smile. What’s on your list? How will you make today a Terrific Tuesday?
A conscious decision to create my reality each day is a powerful tool; another Lesson Learned for which I am truly grateful.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Magnificent Mondays
I am back in my Quiet Space on Topsail Beach, enjoying a Magnificent Monday in the sun. This is where I come to clear my head and let the ideas flow. It is amazing what can result when you surrender and open yourself up to what is possible. At times, the ‘material’ comes so quickly I have to give up the pen and use the Blackberry to capture it all. In these moments of panic, I realize that fear is taking over – fear that the nugget of wisdom will be lost forever if I don’t leave myself a voice mail!! Awareness is a funny thing – certainly because it gives you many opportunities to laugh at yourself. You see, I have been coming the beach long enough to know that the right ideas will come at the right time. I trust this process and it has not led me astray.
I made a conscious decision to come to the beach to write today. I have been somewhat distracted from my writing and have always found inspiration here among the water and rocks. The weather is unpredictable here in Newfoundland & Labrador and with the flexibility I have in my daily schedule, I take advantage whenever I can to soak in the sunshine and feel the warm breeze. Housework can wait until it’s dark and raining. Typing can wait until later when it has clouded over (at the time of typing, it has clouded over and the temperature has dropped by 5 degrees Celsius).
I have reflected much on the freedom I am afforded by working from home. I have been in this ‘situation’ for 12 years now but it has only been in the past 5 years that I see the great opportunity to experience life that comes with it. I have responsibilities and deliverables like everyone else, clients to meet, etc., but I control my schedule and can work essentially whatever hours are required. This means that I take care of my needs and those of my friends and family as they arise and work at whatever time best suits me. More and more I express gratitude for this gift of freedom and flexibility. I intend to use it to Live in Possibility every day!!
Yes, even on Mondays. How do you view Mondays? Do you dread the return to the rat race? Do you start the day off sluggish and unmotivated? Is the day you are most likely to slip coffee on your work shirt, stub your toe, or lock your keys in the car? This “I Hate Mondays” mantra has become quite an epidemic. I has infiltrated society to the point where it is a “natural” assumption that everyone hates Mondays.
Not me. I have never joined the “I Hate Mondays” Club nor did my parents. I don’t remember a time where either of my parents moaned about going back to work or spent Sunday complaining about what was waiting for them the next day. This is a fact that I didn’t ever think about until today at the beach. The meaning that we lend to the days of the week is quite remarkable. Understanding the power of the mind, the power of thought to affect your reality makes this notion that much more ridiculous, really. As I said, with awareness comes an improved sense of humility for all the inane notions that hold us captive. Are you a member of the I Hate Mondays Club? You know, the membership is revocable AND there is no penalty!
Magnificent Monday – the start of a new workweek; a day that sets the tone for the rest of the week. It is a powerful day because of the significance people place on this period of time. I think of Monday as a day of planning and strategizing. Setting priorities for the week ahead. It is a great day to initiate conversations – allowing time for thoughtful response by Friday. J Magnificent Monday is the best day to visualize your success, clarify what you want to achieve and how you have to BE in order to attract what you desire. Monday has “Embrace Your Potential” (www.embracingpotential.com) written all over it!!! No wonder I LOVE MONDAYS!!
I am sitting on a beach on a Monday afternoon. What could be more Magnificent? [Hint: This is where you insert what would make your Monday magnificent J]
Today, I wanted to plan my week (leaving lots of space for spontaneity, my new hobby!), enjoy the outdoors, make connections with family, friends and clients, and write a new blog post. I have accomplished all those things and it’s only 5:00PM so I’m ready to do it all over again! It is great to be living life on purpose, especially on Magnificent Mondays. I am truly grateful for another Lesson Learned.
I made a conscious decision to come to the beach to write today. I have been somewhat distracted from my writing and have always found inspiration here among the water and rocks. The weather is unpredictable here in Newfoundland & Labrador and with the flexibility I have in my daily schedule, I take advantage whenever I can to soak in the sunshine and feel the warm breeze. Housework can wait until it’s dark and raining. Typing can wait until later when it has clouded over (at the time of typing, it has clouded over and the temperature has dropped by 5 degrees Celsius).
I have reflected much on the freedom I am afforded by working from home. I have been in this ‘situation’ for 12 years now but it has only been in the past 5 years that I see the great opportunity to experience life that comes with it. I have responsibilities and deliverables like everyone else, clients to meet, etc., but I control my schedule and can work essentially whatever hours are required. This means that I take care of my needs and those of my friends and family as they arise and work at whatever time best suits me. More and more I express gratitude for this gift of freedom and flexibility. I intend to use it to Live in Possibility every day!!
Yes, even on Mondays. How do you view Mondays? Do you dread the return to the rat race? Do you start the day off sluggish and unmotivated? Is the day you are most likely to slip coffee on your work shirt, stub your toe, or lock your keys in the car? This “I Hate Mondays” mantra has become quite an epidemic. I has infiltrated society to the point where it is a “natural” assumption that everyone hates Mondays.
Not me. I have never joined the “I Hate Mondays” Club nor did my parents. I don’t remember a time where either of my parents moaned about going back to work or spent Sunday complaining about what was waiting for them the next day. This is a fact that I didn’t ever think about until today at the beach. The meaning that we lend to the days of the week is quite remarkable. Understanding the power of the mind, the power of thought to affect your reality makes this notion that much more ridiculous, really. As I said, with awareness comes an improved sense of humility for all the inane notions that hold us captive. Are you a member of the I Hate Mondays Club? You know, the membership is revocable AND there is no penalty!
Magnificent Monday – the start of a new workweek; a day that sets the tone for the rest of the week. It is a powerful day because of the significance people place on this period of time. I think of Monday as a day of planning and strategizing. Setting priorities for the week ahead. It is a great day to initiate conversations – allowing time for thoughtful response by Friday. J Magnificent Monday is the best day to visualize your success, clarify what you want to achieve and how you have to BE in order to attract what you desire. Monday has “Embrace Your Potential” (www.embracingpotential.com) written all over it!!! No wonder I LOVE MONDAYS!!
I am sitting on a beach on a Monday afternoon. What could be more Magnificent? [Hint: This is where you insert what would make your Monday magnificent J]
Today, I wanted to plan my week (leaving lots of space for spontaneity, my new hobby!), enjoy the outdoors, make connections with family, friends and clients, and write a new blog post. I have accomplished all those things and it’s only 5:00PM so I’m ready to do it all over again! It is great to be living life on purpose, especially on Magnificent Mondays. I am truly grateful for another Lesson Learned.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The Value of Quiet Time
I am writing the draft of my fourth blog entry as I sit at what has become, over the past year, my sacred Quiet Space. While it is anything but quiet on this sunny, summer Saturday at Topsail Beach, I can always find stillness as I go within for inspiration.
You see, none of these blog topics have come any other way. They all result from quiet contemplation. I guess it would be easy enough to make a list of all the Lessons Learned from my father, but there have been so many! How do I choose? As with most BIG questions I face these days, my answers come when I take the time to GO WITHIN. What this looks like on the surface is simple Quiet Time.
It may show up like it did this morning: "Mommy needs 30 minutes to herself." I close the bedroom door and crank up a meditation CD. Or maybe it's a quick trip to the beach, chai latte in hand, to sit in my Quiet Space for 15 minutes before picking up the kids after school. Sometimes, it's a full-blown Day of Quiet in the park, where I sit under a tree, pen in hand, book on lap, and do my thing with no schedule and no outcome in mind.
Yes, I said it: No schedule and no outcome in mind. Wow! I just became aware of the tremendous progress I have made in the "peace" arena of my life. My motivational work is grounded on the principle of embracing your potential at home, at work, at play and at peace. For those who have known me over the years, this concept of Quiet Time (i.e., "at peace") has taken me the longest to grasp.
I have always been a "doer". Always busy. Lots to do. A to-do list in every room. Many self-imposed deadlines to accompany my many goals. The idea of stopping to 'smell the roses' never occurred to me much until I realized that a good chunk of my adulthood had passed and I hadn't scored many happiness points.
It was actually 5 summers ago, when I left my marriage that I was introduced to meditation. I was dating a Buddhist (not a monk, obviously ;) who gave me Robin Sharma's, "The Monk who Sold his Ferrari." It was a great read and opened my world up to a power I hadn't known. Every meditation I have practiced since has been even more powerful because of the ease at which I can now connect with my higher self.
The ability to stop the noise in my head ultimately resulted in the PAUSE concept that I teach others as a means by which to connect to the power within. This conscious connection is different for everyone but no one can discount the amazing things that can manifest once the mind in still.
Honesty Note... Today, I cheated a little. I took three kids to the beach and I had a plan: I was going to soak up some rays while I read the next chapter in Wayne Dyer's, "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life" and find inspiration for my next blog post (someone gave me a gentle nudge of encouragement this week after noticing that my entries had come to a stop - more on this at another time). I am pleased to say that I left the beach having surpassed my goal because the whole blog was written and the kids were beat out and actually willing to go home when I was ready :) I think this still qualifies!!
I don't remember my dad ever meditating and certainly not writing a blog on the beach, but I do remember the value he put into his Quiet Time. It is possible he is a closet Buddhist or a closet something because I have never known him practice any sort of religion. Rather than by meditating or chanting, my father committed to his Quiet Time in his regular routine. Whether he was out for a walk, reading, writing in his study or "resting his eyes" (i.e., napping, after teaching all day), we understood that this was an essential ingredient to the successful operation of one Melvin Payne.
Buddhist or no, my father taught me the value of Quiet Time. It is a Lesson Learned that I am embracing in my everyday life. What a difference it has made... And I have the blog material to prove it!! :)
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