The Hardest Part of Love is Letting Go

Do you remember this song from the 80s? I do. But it’s not the kind of love I’m talking about… no, I’m writing a book about THAT kind of love… wait for it! Today, however, is about the love of a mother for her child, that double-edge sword of unconditional love. Why on earth would I call it that? Well, if your son was turning 12 like mine is today, I think you would know that answer.

I had never experienced anything like it before or since that moment, 6:08PM on August 4, 1998 when my son, Joel Anthony was born. There can never be words to describe the rush of love that comes from the heavens and envelops your soul and stays with you forever. That is a blessing for which I am grateful every day of my life. The difficult part of this is that children grow up… they become independent and no longer need you like they did when they were babies. Their independence changes everything. I am beginning to experience this and it is scary and a little sad.

If I get beyond the emotion (after I have my obligatory Joel’s-birthday-meltdown cry) I see that it’s really similar to other changes that I’ve survived – really, it’s about the changing role of parenting. It’s really about Letting Go. My duties and responsibilities are changing and, if I hold too tightly, things will probably get rough; if I try to go with the flow and adjust my responses in a more organic way, things may continue to be a smooth as they have been for the past 12 years.

I have no crystal ball and I really don’t know what I will be called upon to face as Mom to Joel Anthony but I do know one thing: I will forever be conscious of the gift I have been given and cherish every moment I have him in my life and because I love him, I will learn to let go (within reason, of course, because I am still his mother).