Sing Out Loud!

My beautiful 9-year-old daughter Sydney asked me tonight I was ever in Choir. I was putting her to bed with the four songs I’ve been singing to her over the past 6 years: Hush Little Baby; You are my Sunshine; I Love you, You Love Me; and Twinkle, Twinkle. It’s not much of a repertoire but it has held us in good stead and created a special moment for us each night. It the midst of change, tradition is nice, too.

I asked her why she wanted to know. She said, “Because you are a really good singer, Mom.” Now, those of you who know me really well are probably doing what I was doing: mouth, first agape, turned into a big smile and then I replied, “Well, honey. That is really nice of you to say. In fact, I was in choir once, and I was asked not to sing too loudly because I was off-key.” I went on to explain how difficult it was to hear that message as a child particularly because I loved to sing. I told her that I held on to that judgment of me for the remainder of my days.

My daughter hears me sing all of the time: when I’m getting ready in the morning, as I drive her to school, when I’m making dinner, and when I tuck her in. I have always been a singer – but one with no training and, as I have come to believe, no tune. I realized that when I sing, I sing because I love to sing and that’s it. And that’s what she sees. I’m not doing it for the praise. I gave up on that years ago. I told her the story of elementary music teacher who would call attendance by singing, “Lisa Payne” and I had to repeatedly, with great pains, respond in sing-song, “Here I am!” over and over until she finally moved on someone else who, clearly, sang it much better than I. Recalling this tonight and sharing this story with Sydney was the premise of a great conversation about giving over our power. I reminded her (it was not the first such chat) that, in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

For all the Sydneys out there who are just starting out in life and for all the adults out there yearning to Embrace Your Potential, let’s Sing Out Loud!!!

Tonight I am most grateful for Sydney and her brother, Joel, who have always thought I was the best singer (and mother) in the world. They are my inspiration and my greatest teachers.