Each year, with the passing of my son’s birthday, I find myself on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride. I reminded Joel today that he should expect the annual sniffle-fest from me on Tuesday when he turns 11. He is enjoying a week-long celebration with a party at my house Saturday, dinner at grand-parents’ Sunday, spending spree with party cash on Monday, REAL birthday on Tuesday that includes a long-awaited trip to see Happy Potter 6, Regatta Day civic holiday on Wednesday, who-knows-what on Thursday (detox from sweets, for sure) and party at his dad’s on Friday! Come to think of it, this is almost EXACTLY the way I have been celebrating my birthdays for the past 5 years!! I love it!
I have always been a big celebrator. I love planning parties and hosting them, especially birthday parties. My family was very supportive of this when I was living at home and, while we weren’t extravagant by any means, there were always gifts to be opened, decorations to be hung, and Mom’s cake to be eaten. Now that I’m caught up in Joel’s annual gala, even amidst all the hooting and hollering, I get all sentimental about his getting older (for some reason, Sydney’s birthday doesn’t affect me the same way). While I have never been one to worry about getting older or fear the number of candles on the cake, the occasion of Joel’s birthday always makes me reflect on the passage of time. I remember with particular detail, the events of the week leading up to his birth: he was 6 days late and it seemed he grew 10 pounds heavier each day in the July heat! I also think back to how my life was at that time and find myself amazed at what can change. He is only 11 but I feel like I was living a different life when he born and each year, I spend some time thinking about the time that has passed and the choices that I have made to shape my current reality. In my reflection, I count my blessings and marvel at how much we have all grown and learned from our experiences.
How do you view time? Do you count down to events? To 5:00? Thank God it’s Friday or dread the upcoming Monday? Do you look at each birthday as a new beginning, a celebration of what you have accomplished over the past year or try to pretend it’s not happening and pray nobody remembers? In the past (ok, just a few month ago), I could never understand people who don’t want to celebrate their birthdays… it seems odd that all of the men in my life have been like that (of course, nothing is ‘odd’, it just is). Everyone has their reasons, just as I have my own wanted to shout it from the rooftops… I’m 39!! Woo-hOO!!!! Wait until next year! This afternoon while I was hanging with the kids at the beach, I thought about how I would celebrate turning 40… the plan may start early and will likely last months instead of just a week.
The fact is, I am in a perpetual state of celebration, and I am not ashamed to say so. I feel that each day is worthy of a party, one of gratitude, to be shared with those you love. And if you happen to be alone, sing and dance with reckless abandon! Let us view the passage of time as a conscious celebration of growth and learning. Every day there are new opportunities to explore and successes waiting to be realized.
Be on purpose in all of your choices and time won’t fly, it won’t stand still, it won’t exist. But you will be existing in possibility as you embrace your potential! That’s what I will tell Joel on the occasion of his 11th birthday and every year thereafter. He and his sister are my daily inspirations and the reason I choose to celebrate life!! They gave me the gift of this Lesson Learned.
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